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Goldfish, man, let me be the first to offer up my wishes of luck to you. I was in a similar situation a while back. I can't tell you what to expect (I don't think anyone can), but good luck on it. I really mean that.

Edit: As for music regarding this/these feeling(s), for me it was "Boys of Summer", by Don Henley, "Dreams of a Shore Bordering Another World" from Chrono Cross, "If You Could Read My Mind" by Gordon Lightfoot, and "Everything You Want" by Vertical Horizon.

Whether in Suikoden II or V, that piece chokes me up every time. While our musical tastes are pretty divergent, we can at least agree on this track.

Anyway, good luck man!

Well good luck with it. I don't think anyone can tell you what to expect as whatever this is will be unique to both of you but I was in a similar situation many years ago. I became very close to a girl who was part of my group of friends but she had a boyfriend from long before I knew her. We knew there was something between us but she was happy with her boyfriend and, to make it worse, he was actually a really good guy.

Life moved on. We all ended up going different directions. I lost touch with just about everyone in that group. Many years later, we got in contact again. She had long since broken up with the boyfriend, I was single as usual and so we went out on a sort of big date thing.

And there it was - nothing.

Anything we had was part of a different life and she was now just someone I barely knew. And she wasn't what I remembered. And I probably wasn't what she remembered either. We went are seperate ways and that was it. Sometimes you just can't go back.

But it could be exactly the opposite for you. I think, whatever happens, things will probably be a bit of a surprise to both of you. I hope it goes really well. Good luck with it!

Good luck, dude! As for what you can expect - excuse the cheesiness, but the best way to sum it up is "expect the unexpected". People in general are fairly unpredictable in stressful or different situations, but in my experiences women are much more so. Hang in there, just be yourself and try to have a good time, man. I've found that the situations that I take lightly are the ones that usually work out the best. So my advice is just to be cool, be you, and try not to take things too seriously at first. And most importantly - if you two spend time together, have fun!

Best of luck!  There's nothing quite like the uneasy feeling you get in your stomach before you meet someone you have feelings for.  If you hit things off and you still get the butterflies, that might be a good sign! 

Of course, we'll be expecting updates and as far as advice, don't think about what you're going to say too much, and above all, be yourself!  We got your back here. 

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This is worth quoting, because during those 9 years you both are quite literally different people now.  Perceived memories of how someone used to be doesn't always match the new reality. 

Approaching this new meeting with such huge expectations of paradise isn't giving yourself the adequate space necessary for an objective evaluation of her new current self (because you're already so mezmerized by the old self).

I'd advise asking the same questions you would to a new person you're never met before, because after 9 years it is effectively a blind date again.

Did you buy a piece of jewelry to give to her on your trip?  That is a brave gesture.

You are basically meeting a girl you haven't met in a very long time, and a few internet messages probably will not reveal if she is the same person you remembered (or whether she has a boyfriend). 

I wish you the best of luck.  It is definitely worth a shot to try, but don't beat yourself if it doesn't work out.

I agree with Carl and his objective realism, and I wish you luck.

I hate to be discouraging, but...

You got a "lead" and there's a "good chance" you'll see her? That doesn't sound like a plan to get together, but a plan to surprise (or depending on point of view, ambush) someone who won't be expecting you. The "getting leads" sounds like you're stalking her... I'm not saying you are, but when you put it like that, it has that connotation.

This is after a couple of internet messages and nine years of total separation, too. That's like going from zero to ninety.

To compound it all, it sounds like you bought jewelry to present on this occasion. Buddy, this is all just much too much! If she's interested in you, a move this bold is going to scare her off. If she isn't, you're just going to scare her.

To echo what others have said, long lost lovelies aren't always how you remember them, and you may be creating a situation for yourself where you'll be left either let down or frustrated.

I don't want to delve too deep into this or be too directive, but my gut tells me this is a bad idea. Try imagining someone you haven't seen in a decade (besides her) IMing you a week ago and suddenly appearing before you and presenting you with an expensive gift. Wouldn't that creep you out?

I know it seems touchingly romantic in your head, and I can relate to that, but reality doesn't follow the same rules as fairy tales, and it's not for lack of trying--it just doesn't work that way.

My advice is to strongly reconsider your game plan. If you're bent on seeing her, you must act as though you met by chance, and don't make a habit of "getting leads"--let her, or fate, decide when the next encounter will be. Take the jewelry back and do not go back to that store for a very long time.

Be prepared--and open-minded--for the possibility that she is not the same as you remember. Nine years and fuzzy memories make for a very powerful prescription of rose-tinted lenses, and people simply change over the period of time, especially the high school/college eras. Even if she's the same as she actually was nine years ago, chances are you've built her up to be something much grander in your head and heart over all those years. She might be different--don't make it your mission to restore her to the girl you knew, for it is an impossible task and a disrespectful effort (and something bound only to disappoint you, too).

I do wish you good luck, but to be brutally honest, unless you change your outlook and game plan, that good luck will be best applied to recovering from a blowout.

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sdgbsdv

Kick some ass.

You're lucky she works at a bar. That way you can take the edge off before saying anything risky.

I'm with Jay, Carl, and VB here.  You're making a big deal out of nothing.  Sure, it's nice to find out what happened to someone you used to know, but they key here is that you USED TO know her.  You don't know her now.  You need to dial those expectations WAY down.  And your nervousness may betray you.  I'll wish you luck man, but the luck I wish you is that you make it out of there with some dignity.  What a lot of people like us (read: nerds, c'mon this is a video game soundtrack board, after all) often fail to realize is that there are TONS of fish in the sea.  There is always another girl.  No matter how much you think you love/need/can't live without/etc. a specific girl, there is always another one out there.  Trust me on that.  Always another one.  Just let go of your expectations and look for people you can have fun with and be yourself around.

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Don't let her know how much you want her--that's suicide. Ideally she should see you flirting (successfully) with other girls.

and get a nifty t-shirt that says "I am not a stalker" in big letters... chicks dig that...

Very true. I had read that women tend to be more interested in a man if he is with a group of women, but men tend to be less interested in a woman if she is with a group of men. Basically, if you want a girl, then get a girlfriend. The fact that you have a girl with you will make it easier to get other girls. Jealousy in women seems to be much more aggressively advanced than in men. I once saw a girl get knocked out cold by another girl. They were fighting over some guy.

  In the spirit of longhairmikeness, tell the girl you live on Hymen Pass, in Eureka. Lol.

So, in other words, humanity sucks.

But it doesn't suck me.

-Joshua

sddgsdv

You got lucky.  Consider that God, the universe, fate, or whatever you believe in giving you a free pass.

Goldie...You definitely got ALOT of good advice, from both the dreamers and the realists.  After numerous rotations around the sun, I have fallen into the category of the latter (realist). 

Relationships can be amazingly wonderful things, however they don't happen overnight, very rarely anyway.  If you have a chance to know someone for awhile (like over a month), by way of friends / family, that's a definite bonus.  Time can heal, and but it also allows us to forget. 

I'm in a relationship right now and it is far from perfect.  However, I am completely comfortable being myself, and the notion of 'distorting oneself to be the perfect person', is far from removed. 

I will say you and only you will make the best decision for what is right, and you need to exhaust the possibilities.  Be cautious however, it's not the end of the world should it not go to game plan.

As for music, it is quite amazing how the songs we connect with come to mind, and play in the back of our head repeatedly during heightened emotions.  Sometimes a relationship or feelings we attribute to at the time can ruin music / movies / entertainment, etc, especially if you 'enjoyed' them together. 

Finally, no internet?  Does she live in a cave?  I would continue to exhaust the email communication, as a more gentle nudge.  Overtime that may turn into something.

Dude, just enjoy the solitary life, women are freakin' tedious, especially trying to balance two of them (like, uh, me ).  Save your time, energy and money.

Too true.
Women like the chase.
Once that is gone....