Egged on by the discussion in the Stream of Consciousness thread, I decided that perhaps it would be nice to tell each other how we're doing recently, since it's been 4 years since a similar thread surface, apparently.

So, let your fellow STC-ers know what's going on in your life:
Married? Kids? Happy/Involuntary single?
What kind of job/study do you do?

TELL US.

I'll kick things off:

I'm 31, almost 32, I've been married for 2 years (just had my anniversary last week!) to a nice Japanese lady about 4 years older. We have a chihuahua, Capo (short for Al Capone) and what is probably the cutest kitty in the entire world, Vivi (Sorry, Sakito).

I work as a Project Manager/Translator for a localization company based in Osaka, where I've worked on some fairly major projects (including the upcoming NMH remake and both the Arcade and Home console version of KOFXIII).
We recently started a a new website where we offer indie games for download. So far it's only Western games localized for Japan, but we're hoping to expand in the opposite direction as well.
Shameless self-promotion FTW: www.playism.jp

No kids yet, but I don't know how long I'll be able to avoid that particular responsibility.

So, how's everyone coming along?

I'm currently 26, perpetually single - I just have NO luck in that department whatsoever..., and work as an analytical chemist for a healthcare diagnostics company in Newark, Delaware (USA). I definitely enjoy what I do though and I really don't mind being single as it definitely lets me spend more money on myself and the ability to travel more often.

Yo! I'm 30, a few months away from 31. Gay and single. Part of me wouldn't mind finding someone but I'm not going to spend too much time looking. If it happens, it happens. For now, it gives me more time to travel (a favorite hobby) and focus on my career.

As far as that goes, I'm a freelance pianist. In general, I tend to be the jack-of-all-trades to pay the bills, whether that means playing for weddings, playing for singer auditions, teaching, church services, you name it. That said, more often than not, I find myself working with aspiring opera singers (mostly young sopranos). When I'm coaching them, I correct their notes, rhythms, languages and give general suggestions when I feel the spirit of the piece isn't being conveyed right.

36, and feeling old. Old, old, old. Lovely wife, two absolutely batshit mental girls (age 2 and 4) who make me laugh while sucking the life out of me.

I write and direct children's shows. It's a lovely thing to do, making children smile, and I wouldn't want to do anything else but it's a tough and very, very uncertain way to make a living. Have been working away on one for over a year now and I just need it to happen. If it doesn't, I don't have a plan B.

When I'm not making shows, I'm playing games or amusing myself with my silly cartoons, doodles or making really awful amateur electro music.

I want a new dog. Not a chihuahua, although I'm sure Capo is lovely!

I work for an electronics company you've never heard of, doing the sort of job that robots will be doing soon. I'm old enough to know better, and will never be a husband or a father so long as I can help it.

BASIC CURRENT STATUS

Age 25, will be 26 next month. Single. I could probably find myself a nice girlfriend, if only I went out more often, and to the kind of places that are frequented by the kind of femininity I'm interested in (I dig girls who dig Indie).

JOB GET!...Easy Come, Easy Go...

3-4 weeks ago, got the first job I've had since 5-6 years ago; retail, shoe salesman. Employed full time for the first 3-4 weeks, before they significantly reduced my hours, effectively benching me until the weekends, and maybe randomly calling me in if there just happens to be a rush during the weekdays.

As far as I'm concerned, I might be a rookie, but I still do a helluvalotta more work than any of the girls that work there, or the manager himself - all I ever see them do is stand or sit around, and talk and gossip about things not related to the job at hand...and I'm the one who gets benched...Il n'ya pas de justice dans le monde!

SHOES

A person's shoes tell a lot more about them then you could ever fathom...I happen to like the kind of girls who wear flats, and particularly non-descript footwear in general. [SCATHING REMARKS]Sneakers - especially the vintage, retro kind - make me think that they're still mentally young inside, if they're not wearing the shoes for exercise, but high heels - especially high-heeled sandals and wedges - tell me that they're snobbish, and suffer from inferiority complexes probably not limited to just their height...that is, if they're not wearing them for an office job.[/SCATHING] Me, I wear either black dress shoes or motorcycle-style boots in the Winter, and in the Summer, I may wear Western-styled (almost) cowboy boots, or sandals, depending upon whether I want to seem rugged or hippie. Otherwise, dress shoes can work in the Summer too, if they're breathable for my feet.

EUROPEAN FENCING

Just took up a (European) fencing class at my local community college - been wanting to do it for ages, finally got the time - first class involved learning footwork, supposed to finally get our hands on some foils (practice fencing swords) second class.

KATANA SWORDFIGHTING

Also found a gentleman off Craigslist who's teaching freestyle katana swordfighting locally (using practice swords, of course) - also had a first class in that this past week - and it was only surreal because it was held in what was either an underground cafe, or a place that really was closed down long ago. Didn't smell anything strange - owner of the place seemed like a nice enough guy, but I think he's a left-wing anti-government revolutionary. Probably completely harmless, though; he was showing an independent film in the front of the place, while us ronin were practicing in the back. Just really surreal, is all.

GET A REAL JOB, OR OPEN A BUSINESS?

I really should go score myself a professional job - probably end up doing less work for more pay, compared to a retail job.

Honestly interested in making myself self-employed. Want to open a business, well, businessES, really.

I'd really like to open up a place that's like a traditional Asian tea & coffee house, complete with Zen garden, and everything. Also toying around with the idea of a European-styled cafe. Or perhaps a ultra-modern lounge kind of place. I'd like to give the town something it doesn't already have, and especially provide a place that's quiet and relaxing, as opposed to loud and bustling - the kind of place a person can sit, read, and sip their favorite beverage. Also, fruit juice. Fruit juices are nice.

Also would like to try and open up a folk-styled market - try and find people who make hand-crafted and home grown goods - pottery, glassware, jewelry, clothing, scented candles and incense, herbs, flowers, produce - basically a farmer's market, but expanded - and give them a place they can sell at - an open bazaar, basically. Pier 1, or World Market, but independent.

Also wouldn't mind opening up my own katana swordfighting dojo...when I get more experienced, of course. My samurai name will be Takero Munekata.

asl?

27/m/ny/single/freelancer/nerd

Yay, someone with almost the same status as me, just replace ny to Finland and freelancer to unemployed lazy bum. :P

Don't know why, but I've had the annoying bugging nagging on my brain that maybe regular work/working hours are just not for me. Could be because I'm somewhat lazy to a certain fault, or I'm just too strongheaded what I want from my life. Or even a mental thingie going on.

But then, good thing about my life is that it's always turning things upside down often.

Turned 31 last month, which has been a much easier transition than turning thirty, now that I'm in the thick of it.  Still at the same two jobs, one as a nurse at New York Hospital, the other as financial supervisor at my PC consultation company.  2011 marks my fifth and eleventh year working at said jobs, respectively.  On the side, I help with sound editing duties for my sister's independent film projects.

There's been a man in my life for the last two years, which is the longest relationship I've held in some time.  While marriage isn't quite on the books, that subliminal feeling of settling down is admittedly quite nice.  We've been a pretty good match; he's a film buff like myself, which may explain why I've been going to the movies a lot more lately.  We both like to travel, and while he's an all-around casual gamer, he's pretty damned good at schooling me in Super Street Fighter IV.  It's those latter moments where I both love and hate him. >:) 

We've each got a mental list of improvements we'd like to see on one another, but if there's one thing I'm constantly trying to improve about him, it's to impart some of my daredevil spirit.  Not going too badly, either; I got him from never going on a roller coaster in his life, to riding 7 of the 13 featured at Six Flags last year.  (Still psyching him up to Kingda Ka, though.)

Those aside, there's a lot I still want to do, some carrying over from this thread.  Travel is still the biggest priority, domestically in the States first, then internationally.  Since I've got vacation days up the wazoo, the plan is to just take an entire summer off and bum around the country.  I'd like to hit up a few infrequently-visited relatives in the process.

Oh, and Tim, you can't make a proclamation like "cutest kitty in the entire world" without a pic to back it up.  Until that happens, I remain convinced that Sakito is still top dog.  Cat.  You know what I mean. :)

I'm legally 30, but I lopped off two years (2004 and 2009, which were both just begging to be memory wiped...2010 is probably in the same boat, but I'll save the lopping off of that one for later), so I'm really 28. I'm working at the same place going on my sixth year, but only my second as a full-timer. I deal with payroll taxes and the associated accounting entries and employee headaches that go along with them. I probably like it more than I'll ever admit, plus I get to listen to music a lot on slower days. Happily single, until someone worthwhile comes along.

So far, 2011 has been all about two things: Traveling to tournaments on the east coast for Marvel vs Capcom 3 and collecting vinyl. MvC3 fills the void left after Guilty Gear and MvC2 basically died as competitive fighting games and despite the many minor gripes I have with the game, is a fabulous and exciting tournament game. As for vinyl...it just sounds better. Period. So that's the direction I head in when I want to revisit my favorite tunes or discover newer ones. I just finished getting all of the 80's Iron Maiden albums and I have a lot of my main targets (thrash albums are still pricey as hell, so that's going to be slow and painful). Thankfully, the low price of most records allowed me to amass a decent collection in a fairly short amount of time. Most of my setup is secondhand gear, so I'm looking into getting some higher-end vintage gear (especially the receiver), but even then, some of the differences are shocking.

The past couple years, I've been interested in studying investments (namely stocks/options) and I self-study a lot about them. It's interesting how intertwined everything is and how things like the VIX (basically a fear gauge for the market), the dollar's value and credit default swaps work. It's ironic how the whole crash a few years ago ignited my interest in stuff like this...A few years ago, I didn't want to go anywhere near it.

Turned 33 last January. Single, not really interested in looking for a partner. (More on that later)

Have been working as a part-time sales clerk at the local liquor store for 5 years and a half now. Just a couple of days ago, the head staff came to visit the store and through casual conversation informed me that I've finally earned my full-time status, which is really, really sweet to say the least. So career-wise, I've got it worked out quite nicely.

Aside from that, gaming is pretty much over even I occasionally yearn for a good run of a classic RPG/Platformer/Shooter, but I manage to fight off the tempation to purchase consoles/portables, new or used. Having kept several soundtracks that really marked my gaming years does that to me. I'm currently waiting on my Fireleg tarantula to molt. She has been in heavy pre-molt for two weeks now. It's really testing my patience since having a tarantula stand in a corner and turning around once in a while isin't actually exciting. I am already considering buying another to distract me while I wait for the fated moment.

Why am I not looking for a significant other ? I believe few women would actually endure or support my current hobby. Now that I'm a full time sales clerk at work, I can plan ahead several breeding projects of several species of tarantulas. I plan on starting with something common that's easy to breed like the Honduras Curly Hair or the Mexican Red Knee then move on to more challenging species like the Indian Ornamental and the Columbian Lesserblack. I definitely want to help preserve these amazing creatures and help the common folk realize most "folk tales" about them are just that, "folk tales".

I guess that's pretty much it, for the time being.

I'm the oldest here (37 in august), and i really havn't listened to much new game music and barely played any new games in a good 7 or so years.
But yet i continue to post here to torture you guys with my endless supply of authentic reverse engineered puns.

shana and I started www.pullipstyle.com back in early 2005, and it's grown into a monster that has consumed our 2 bedroom condo already.
I put in a bazillion hours a week, but finally on June 15th we are leaving Shitcago and moving to the mountain foothills of northeast Mesa, AZ where we'll never have to deal with snow or cold again. http://maps.google.com/maps?q=red+mountain+ranch
(dragon god, i can hook you up with all the desert crawlies you could ever want)

now that ill have mountain trails right outside my door, the chances of getting into gaming again are pretty slim, as year round biking awaits, and i also want to get back into flying trikes like i did 10 years ago (except legally this time).

I'm 32 male/hetero/single.  If you couldn't tell from all of my business focused posts, I'm the MBA of the group (don't hate), and I work two jobs: full time in corporate marketing and part-time in retail.  I do the latter mostly for fun, but it also lets me spy on real live consumers in their natural habitat.  I'm really interested in using my vacation time for international travel, but I work so much that I rarely have time to plan anything in advance, so it's kind of a catch 22.  By the time vacation rolls around, I'm so exhausted that I usually just sleep through most of it.  I have enjoyed being in relationships in the past, and I do miss having a girlfriend a little bit, but I'm not at the point where I think having a girlfriend again is worth the insanity that is the dating game.

I'm probably the strangest person here, due to my interest in things that are not real but really affect us. I also believe that hallways are things in which ambulation should be possible. Many of my co-workers disagree. So my job is a constant struggle, due to the fact there are all sorts of creatures running around in my building. Creatures with brains - similar to my own. But different enough to think it's perfectly acceptable to block hallways. Oh, and never clean up anything. And leave early. And then say they are tired, after having left early and after having done nothing.

My job is fine. It really is. My co-workers are the only problem. This is why I'm not changing jobs. (Not yet) Any new job will put me in a situation with more people. People are everywhere. So any job that consists of human co-workers will be the same as any other one. At the most fundamental level, I am a psychologist, since I have to remain calm and learn how to interact with people that are lazy. There is a certain thing I consciously recall to help me. Life is not fair. Anyone that thinks life is fair has already flunked. You have to remember that it isn't. That's my mental trick for remaining calm.

I'm 34 and I would love to live underground, with a decoy house several hundred feet away. I'd keep it unlocked and let people roam around all day. They'd never get me.

In this place where I exist, whatever it may be, I have managed to survive for 34 years. But even that doesn't mean anything. What gives us the right to presume that our measurement of time is a standard? I don't know anything about it. It's just that my age is assigned the number "34" based on the fact I have gone around the Sun 34 times. Why is that significant? My life is a continuous flow of events that can not be broken up into integers. I am sickened by this place.

You may consider yourself strange, but these 2 points at least are things I've also been saying for decades now.

That, and the fact that being a pessimist means I'm never disappointed and only ever pleasantly surprised, which makes for a pretty positive life

http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/69 … 31502.jpg/

Slightly chubby, but just look at that adorable face

I turn 29 this year but I think I'm one of the least earners in this forum. Much of people around my ages advance into a managerial position in business and have children in private life, I'll see neither of which happen on me. Last year was one of the worst periods in my life, as I was fired from the job after working for three years but more than that, I faced a big setback. I was going to quit the job after all, since it added absolute no merit to one's career, but I couldn't use my 20s which was the last chance to slip into the course of winners, despite challenging to an exam with three year's special studies and dozens of interviews. For that matter, after the firing, I couldn't get the next job for one year (aside of a very brief one), as I've simply been told something like "your resume is crap".

There are two thing I have a strong complex towards, and one of them, my appearance, was definitely inherited from my farther, so I even once cursed my mother for marrying such an ugly guy, even making a child between him and not divorcing from him. He was also the first person I wanted to kill, after having seen him frequently drunken and beating us since my childhood. Loving one's farther is seen as a big virtue in the world, but I still see no reason to respect and love that guy, while a sense of hate has expired recently. If a miracle ever happens and I can be able to marry somebody, I'll definitely visit a sperm bank to get a decent gene so that a child doesn't need to suffer from his/her appearance as I severely did.

That being said, it's time to admit that I'm a loser and that was simply my fault, although I've been just seeking for something else to blame instead. I'll spend the rest of my life to redeem my life and try to fill the huge gap between me and an average man of my age. I finally got my first work as a regular worker last week, and there are many thing to learn.

I am 23 and girls tend to hate me. So I've been in college forever with no signs of getting out anytime soon. I've been at Bucks County Community College since I left highschool, trying to figure out how to proceed in life. I do think I finally cracked this egg. I almost have a associates in Liberal Arts so I am going to transfer to Temple for this fall and get my BA in English. After I have attained such a degree I will then get a TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) in Japan. I will use this time to distance myself from my comfort zone, and smash Japanese in my head once and for all

I started my love of Japan through video games. Then I found anime and I loved that as well. Eventually I found that soundtracks were made from these games and that I could get the original instead of the midis offered by vgmusic.com. This expanded to find out who the composers are and then just learning more about Japan culturally. I have now formed a deep love of Japan, I want to make it my profession somehow.

As for games I play mostly fighting games and RPGs. Fighting games are my absolute passion here. I've made two fightsticks for myself, made a couple more for my friends and modded a couple of SE's for my brothers. I originally was a big fighting game snob but now I find myself loving and supporting everything.

I know how to play Alto Sax and I'm trying to learn guitar. The guitar venture is not very successful so far.

So bottom line is I go to college, and work as a meat associate in a grocery store.

I think I may be the youngest person here too.

If I read between the lines, I think I might be picking up some hints of a self-esteem issue. Possibly. I can't say what parts of your self-perception are true and what aren't but I can tell you that I've met a lot of people who have had various negative opinions about parts of themselves (physically, mentally or just place in life) and, more often than not, they've turned out to be wrong. Our self-perception does not always reflect reality.

Whatever about the card you feel you've been dealt though, it's never too late to make things better and maybe that new work is a great place to start. Truth be told, I wasted most of my twenties and it tortures me at times. Not for any reason or anything that anyone did or anything - just all down to me and my lazy ass. Wasted a good bit of my thirties too but I did make some huge leaps that changed my life for the better. Many things I thought would never happen did happen. My life is still a little bit of a train wreck at times but the big thing is that I'm a far more secure person now. I think part of that is simply age.

Not quite sure what I'm saying to you but I guess it's just that I felt sad reading your description of your life, I empathised with some of it and I know that it really doesn't matter what has happened (or, often more importantly, not happened) in the past - each new day is a new opportunity. And if you miss it today, you'll get another chance tomorrow. That's a horrific cliche and it probably sounds patronising but I believe it to be true. I wish you well and hope that, if we do a new one of these in a couple of years time, that you'll be telling a whole different story.

I do have a bias, which may explain why I focus on my supposed "unique" strangeness. I am aware, in the back of my mind (what is that, anyway?), that we're all strange. Even with that faint awareness, I do appreciate your post. Since it affirms I am more normal than I suspect. (But, if we're all strange, then it's normal to be strange. Damn it. Lol.)

As an example of the bias we have, one of my co-workers came out and told me that a table of older men were talking about how cute she was, despite the fact she was standing within earshot. She was like, "I was standing right there and they were talking about me!" I made her feel much better, as I stated, "But you have a bias. They could have been talking about one of their grandchildren. People often place a level of importance on themselves that might not be realistic." She walked away and didn't bother looking at me.

It took a long time for me to accept that there is no standard. I was a sheltered kid.

Wow whee. Those're some highly technical jobs for well-educated people! You have both nursing AND finance degrees?

Not to say anything disparaging of yourself, mind you, but if I were you, I'd figure out how to make a full-time job out of tarantula breeding, and get paid for it; probably end up a better-paying job than a liquor store clerk...well, don't mind my unintentionally and possibly scathing comments; I'm in career-reflection mode, myself...

Yeeeaaahhh, I used to be in Accounting; then life intervened, and I just couldn't hack it (Accounting) anymore...I look at all my old notes from all of my old classes, and scratch my head, and try to figure out how I used to do it back in the day...

Man, I knew you've dropped hints about how you run your own store before; that's just awesome. Mad admiration for you, man! Seeing as how you're self-employed, and gainfully, at that!

Dude, hook me up; I've got a Bachelor's degree, and I'm trying to get into corporate marketing, myself...

...

Bitching more about my shit retail job, I really ought to get a REAL job...a PROFESSIONAL job...the kind that leads to an even higher-paying professional job...the kind that's highly technical and in high demand...or maybe not so high demand, just the kind of job that would call exactly for the kind of person like me...

...still, I can't help thinking that I could work as hard as I possibly could, and still, no one will ever learn to respect. Respect must be earned, but people don't always learn respect for people who actually deserve respect...people are wrong more often than they're right, especially when it's easier to be right than it is to be wrong, and people usually take the easiest path in life, and they're even less willing to admit when they are wrong, so...yeah...kind of feel like I'm hanging at the end of a thread...

Not to say anything disparaging of yourself, mind you, but if I were you, I'd figure out how to make a full-time job out of tarantula breeding, and get paid for it; probably end up a better-paying job than a liquor store clerk...well, don't mind my unintentionally and possibly scathing comments; I'm in career-reflection mode, myself...

the last thing you need is to get liquored up so much that you end up breeding with a tatantula,, I'm sure 1 child support garnishment from your paycheck would be a financial drain,  but i cant imagine 1500 of them...

I don't think I've ever done one of these on this forum before.

I just turned 26 back in April and my entire life is kind of in limbo at the moment. On the education front, I completed a Bachelor's degree in music theory, but couldn't receive it because I didn't have a minor. I was also one class away from a Bachelor's degree in computer science, but I just couldn't finish it. I guess computers weren't a very good fit for me. Kind of discouraging that I didn't figure that out sooner. At this point I've officially dropped out of college. I'd definitely like to go back and finish something eventually. The problem is that I don't know what that "something" is. To date school has provided no work opportunities, no work experience and no practical, real-world skills. It has completely drained my money, time energy though.

Work has been a little bit better to me. I used to work as a transport driver at Odyssey Healthcare (sort of like being an EMT). Last year, after being at Odyssey for over six years, I realized that they didn't appreciate me and that the job wasn't going to help advance my future. So I quit and began working at a local church as their Technical Director. This was when I realized that my time at college was a complete waste as I was actively working with music, computers and technology, but all the skills and knowledge I was using were ones I had developed on my own outside of school. Go figure. The job has its drawbacks (specifically the fact that I work at a church), but it's relevant to my interests, is helping me develop real skills and experience, and and I get lots of opportunities that I wouldn't otherwise. Our Christmas program is quite the knockout!

Things have deteriorated in my family over the last few years. Relatives have died, my mother has been ill to the point of being completely bedridden and my parents got divorced. Pretty much suck central. My sister and I have really helped support each other and we're currently sharing a pretty nice apartment. Well, it's nice considering what we pay for it. XD We also share the apartment with our three cats and three beta fish. :3

Thoroughly single at the moment. Prior to now I was always single because girls apparently couldn't stand me. Now there's actually a fantastic and lovely girl who really likes me, but I'm terrified to date her. I have no relationship experience, my parents set a terrible example, my friends' relationships aren't very desirable, and my life and mind are both pretty jacked up. I'm not even sure yet if there's a meaningful future in this world for me. Let alone for me and a significant other. Talk about terrible timing. >_<

I guess I'm kind of in the middle of a quarter-life crisis. I don't really know who I am, where I'm going or what I want. I'm working on finding answers to those questions, but it's tough. I feel like the last 25 years have primarily been a waste and that's pretty depressing. I know it really isn't true, but it still feels that way and feelings can be hard to overcome. I wonder where I'll be 25 years from now? I suppose no one knows for sure. It's exciting and terrifying all at once!

Everyone's probably heard me say it before: College/university, and the entire education system in general is completely reprehensible as an institution. If you ask me, it only exists to babysit delinquents, and keep them from unleashing their pre-pubescent/teenaged/adolescent inherent rage upon the world. Not that it really stops them from doing that, either.

Otherwise, it just exists so some people (professors) can get paid to know a bunch of useless tripe I could just look up for myself.

If people had the initiative to teach themselves, rather than expecting things to be spoon fed to them, there would be no need for an education system. Might still have private tutors and mentors - there ARE things that can only be taught by people who have the necessary experience - and perhaps that's the way we should go, but no formalized, universal education system.

Sadly, my little confidence about myself was completely shattered as I was been just demerited everywhere, but the next several years will prove if I have more values than me and pretty much everybody I've met in the past one year would think. I also think I lost thoughtfulness and was gripped by paranoia these days.

I knew my introduction would just strike the forum as awkward and embarrassing, but then again that'd be the first and last time for me to talk about myself in the public place. I'm glad to get some understanding and advices.

Anyway, the worst period in my life is over, hopefully.

Too cute!  How old is he?  Does he behave well with Capo?

Now I just have to counter-post with some shots of my own.  Like his mistress, Sakito's getting up there in age -- he'll be turning fourteen this year.

http://i407.photobucket.com/albums/pp15 … akito1.jpg
http://i407.photobucket.com/albums/pp15 … akito2.jpg

That's not a quarter-life crisis, dude. That's called being in your twenties. It gets easier. I just hit my thirties and I'm *finally* starting to figure myself out. More or less.

Awww, how adorable!
He still looks great for 14!

As for Vivi, I realize the name might throw you off, but she's a girl, actually
She's a little over 2 years old now, still very playful, much to the chagrin of Capo, haha.
He hasn't taken very well to her presence, but she loves playing around with him, so he's mostly being grumpy at her. From what I understand, this is quite common when a cat is introduced AFTER the dog. The other way around seems to have a higher success rate.
The funny thing is that, because he's a chihuahua, he's actually smaller than she is, so she can easily overpower/overwhelm him, despite having nothing but good (well, mostly good) intentions.

I can kinda attest to that. Although I'm definitely not as fit as I was 10 years ago (and I never was anywhere near sporty in the first place), I do feel a lot more secure and confident about myself now.

Men are like good wine, they ripen with age.

And yes, I feel like an idiot for writing that, but it still holds.

I wish people would stop saying that. It just creates unrealistic expectations in the mind of the individual - expectations that can't be met.

I remember being told, back in high school, "It gets better" (after high school). Not least of which, by my own father, honorable man he is, praise God, he still lives today.

Problem is, it didn't. It didn't get better. People still remained the petty, greedy, egotistical, achievement-driven, soul-sucking Hell spawn that they've always been, the kind who trampled upon others without a second thought, their only justification being that they would be the ones getting trampled if they didn't.

Thus, it has been reinforced in my mind that personal success is built upon the broken and dead dreams of others.

Definitely, the people who succeed at my job, are the people who don't mind treating customers just as if they were bags of money, and like their paychecks had already been written, signed, and cashed. Me, I still got a conscience...and look how well I'm doing: Not well.

Somehow, I don't think that would change, between a shit retail job, nor a professional office job.

Sometimes, I can't help smelling blood; I can't tell if it's my own, for having it forcefully drawn from myself, or whether it's residue left over from someone else's kill from ages ago.

What you see in people around you is not just how they act but, more often, how they're reacting to you.

Yay for cat posts! This thread was getting dangerously emo.

They were like that before I was even there, and that's how they treated the other people around them, too, not just me.

But it may be how they react to me in particular, but how's that a justification? It's not like I treat people like that. Do you really want to justify a person's excuse to act like an asshole, even if it was towards you?

People have more excuses to act like completely unconscionable shits to each other, than they have reasons to actually treat each other with grace and dignity.

The whole concept that "Life just isn't fair" is loser talk. God created Man in His image. God is creator, and so men are creators, as well. Just as God creates order from chaos, that is also the task that God entrusted man with: To establish order from chaos. Point being, someone has to provide a conscience for people who lack it, otherwise we're doomed as a species, to repeat the same mistakes we've made in the past.

It's our survival instincts that become overblown at times, making us perceive enemies where there are none, and making us trample innocent people; the very circuitry that's supposed to keep us alive may also lend itself to extincting our species.

I think the misunderstanding here is that you're looking without rather than within. When someone says, "it gets easier", they're not telling you the world is going to suddenly change, or your circumstances - it should (hopefully) be yourself that changes.

Yes, this.

Right, 'cuz it's always just the individual that's wrong, and never the collective, if only because it's easier to change an individual, than to change an entire collective - because the collective has enough physical might to never have to admit that it's wrong, never mind how much they destroy themselves and others with their own wastefulness and arrogance.

And you wonder why I believe life is just a series of insufferable humiliations, and makes me feel like I'm being torn apart.

I was never meant to be feed, nor was I ever meant to be tamed to suit anyone's needs; I make a point of practicing what I preach, and treating with grace and dignity (until they've proven themselves to be reprehensible - in which case, I either avoid them, or have them prosecuted if they've actually violated any written laws), so why can't people do the same, rather than treating me like cattle?