I received the newsletter for my condo complex yesterday and I had a good laugh. From the first page:

Please do not walk on the grass areas to reach your Condo, please use the sidewalks. This will cause the grass and lawn areas to die. We want to keep the lawn looking lush and green.

I felt like sending them this:

Please do not live in your Condo, please use your car or the dumpster. This will cause the Condo interiors to be used, and consequently, wear out. We want to keep the condo interiors looking clean.

This world cracks me up.

That's a good one, here's something funny from the bi-monthly newsletter where I work:

Our natural gass bill for the plant has hit $40,000 for the month of February. We used less gas than last year but this was our highest bill ever. This is not to any of you and we are all shocked again when we fill our cars. We want to help. We have purchased 115 gas cards for $50.00 each, one for each person. I hope this lasts for a couple of months of driving to work. Here was my math. An average trip to work and back, 9 miles per pay times 5 days a week equals 45 miles per week. 45 miles per week times 8 weeks is 360 miles in two months. 360 miles divided by 25 miles per gallon is 14.4 gallons in two months times $3.47 per gallon is $50.00.

The gas card was a nice gesture, don't get me wrong but that math is completely screwy - who in the hell is going to only use their car to go to and from work within a two month period? I'm going to work, I better syphon out my go other places gas and put in my work gas! Got to go to the grocery store, gotta take out my work gas and put in my misc. gas.

It reads to me like the boss was saying "we're going to cover you for your commute to/from work," and I guess [s]he thought it went without saying that you're on your own for personal commutes. I thought so too.

I thought you intentionally try not to be normal, Jodo?

sometimes i like to save my gas for work.. particularly if im expecting to be called into my manager's office that day...

Our complex is almost equally inane:  what happens when the big screen gets stolen from the clubhouse?  They buy a new one and the HOA rates go up.  What happens when that one gets stolen?  They buy another one! :facepalm:

Another gem:  we're not allowed to park in front of our own garages.  WTS?

If a gas station was selling gas for $3.47, there would a be a line half a mile long...
I just paid $4.05 for regular this afternoon

If you want to see something truly funny, watch the movie Blood Car. Gas goes up to $33 per gallon. If that really happened I would need to spend around $9500 on gas per year. In that event, it would probably be more cost effective to invest in a shovel and bags of concrete. So I could make my own damned bike path to work.