Who are these people? Where did I come from? Such questions run through my mind whenever I visit my parents' house. I don't even know my brother; he might as well be another species. Of course, they have the same opinions of me. I'm bizarre and strange. I get to hear this a few times every month.

I'm going to wake up one day and the truth will be revealed. "You've done well so far!", they'll tell me. "Just a few more years and the experiment will be over!", they'll promise. "Very soon you'll get to go home!".

You know what? I wouldn't be surprised. Things are already so crazy with quarks leading to consciousness that I might find out I'm a particle. And they need me back. Back to my position, so the paperclip stays together.

That would certainly explain... everything.

I would recommend you Evolutionary Psychology by David Buss. It helped my get back from a confused haze after reading too much philosophy and nearly destroying my own life by putting lame principles into action. Just don't take the book too seriously. You'll end up as a neo-social darwinist. (At least I did.)

What exactly is an "experiment"? If the whole cosmos is an experiment, you would be an experiment as well. But I don't think that's a good view-point. If one views the cosmos as a huge "purpose", you should be a "purpose" as well. Don't take quantum theory seriously! It has nothing to do with you! (Ehm, of course it has... But, f---.) Embrace existentialism instead.

And remember that (at least some of) Albert Einstein's children were schizophrenic. Huhuhu.

a few nights ago, I sleepily realized the perfect post-modern prayer: that, in the event my life is staged or a form of fiction for beings I cannot begin to comprehend, my authors are merciful in their storytelling

The story ain't over till the fat lady sings, buddy.

That the authors be merciful in their storytelling. Lovely, lovely prayer there.

Well, sometimes it's unfortunate I have the ability to think. This may surprise you, but I rarely read philosophy. In fact, I would probably fail a philosophy test if I had to take one right now.

  In my words, an experiment is a way to test a theory. When an experiment agrees with theory, then someone typically wins a Nobel prize. If the cosmos were an experiment then that means something made a theory concerning some outcome of our universe. Let's hope nothing cuts off its funds or it gets bored with the experiment.