Oh god, this is going to be hard to explain without seeming like I'm rambling....

Anyway, at work I've been split between two departments due to the lack of hours in my original department. Because of this I've been working with one of my friends. Unfortunately, while this may have been cool a few months ago, it's really the farthest thing from that now because of the newest worker on the crew.

Long story short the two really hit it off and I've been feeling left out. Yes, I'll admit I'm a bit jealous, but the combination of the two yields rather negative results in the workplace when they work together. I told this much of the story to a friend and he said that didn't mean I had to stop being friends with him and that the situation would only affect me as much as I let it.

I really appreciated my friend's feedback but I left out a rather important part of the story...

The two really seem to be enamored with alcohol. I mean really enamored with alcohol. On breaks and lunch that's all they talk about; it actually gets quite annoying. Annoying as it is, I'd pretty much chalked the whole thing up to two young guys sowing [sic?] their wild oats. I mean I drank at times in college to unravel... I never really went wild with it or anything. Simple as my "analysis" was, it was challenged earlier tonight.

Another co-worker of mine in another department came by to yell at my buddies' "partner in crime" for the poor job he did sorting some merchandise. He had already left for the night but that didn't stop her from venting her frustration which was more than justified. This woman knew my friend through her daughter and I was curious as to what her current opinion of my friend was. Had she noticed the things I was noticing? The one track mind, the rash scheduling decisions based in anger and retribution for “perceived attacks" from members of management and broken "promises," the total flip in personality?

After I rapped up my shift I went to see her and I told her how I felt and what I had noticed. I told her I really felt like I had lost a friend. She said I had, that I had lost a friend to Alcoholism.

Needless to say I was really taken back by such a statement. I'll admit that as a twenty-eight year old there is a lot I haven't been exposed to as I've lived a rather sheltered life in some ways. I've never really been confronted with such a situation. Would I really know if a friend was an alcoholic? What would I do if I really believed one of them was?

Needless to say with such a decree laid out in front of me I was curious to know what she had to back this up. Not that I was real happy to hear it, but this lady was loaded for bear; she had names and all sorts data. I know things can get scrambled as they travel down the grapevine but this woman has never given me a reason to distrust her and some of what she said made way too much sense. Additionally, she pretty much noticed everything about his demeanor that I did, that he wasn't the same person he was a few months ago.

Quite honestly, I don't know if I'm overreacting or under reacting. All I know is I miss my friend. I miss those two hour talks we'd have in the parking lot after work about everything - even when it was freezing cold outside. Now everything seems to be about leaving work as soon as possible to pound brews.

Before I wrap this up, I want to address the fact that most of my concern in this on-going situation was initially self-serving. I won't mince words and say I was a saint because I wasn't. It's probably not a big shocker to some on this board that I have a hard time making friends (what? - no f---ing way!) considering some of the things I've said in the past (please, I get it, I can be a piece of work and can burn one hell of a bridge but spare on those comments if you could) but considering someone else is seeing the things I'm seeing my friend may have an actual problem...

...or may be not.

In hindsight, I'm probably going to regret posting all of this, so I figured I just get that out of the way right of the bat.

At the risk of sounding negative, things are going to have to get much worse for your friend before he'll decide  - and ultimately he will have to come to this conclusion on his own - that it isn't worth it. Some people won't let go of the bottle until they hit rock bottom.

Two things to keep in mind.
1. His lowest point might be lower than you'd guess. My dad had been tossed out of two apartments and three motels, gone through a period of blackout seizures, and wound up in jail for a weekend on a small assault charge (possibly not true - not because he wouldn't get physical when he was bombed, but because at the time he had bird's bones and the arm strength of a sick kitten, so fracturing a nose was unlikely) before he'd decided enough was enough. If he's deep enough in the bottle, loss of money, food and shelter will always be a secondary concern as long as he can afford some form of liquor.
2. Some of what you perceive as a personality flip may have actually been there all along. Alcohol's main effect on personality is suppressing inhibitions, so it's not necessarily that the booze makes him say, hypothetically, that your sister's ugly. He likely always thought she was ugly and now lacks the impulse to restrain his opinion. It can be a stark, ugly wake-up call to discover the things a person usually keeps under wraps among company, and you may find while waiting for him to dry out that maybe you didn't have that much in common in the first place.

The good news is that you can be there for him (though never financially), and if you're strong enough friends, your lack of involvement in his drunken activity might be the first sign he has that he's losing more than he's getting out of this habit. Not to sound like a cheesy middle-school guidance counselor, but he needs to be aware that the choices he makes have an effect on you, as well.

At any rate, good luck.

True. I'm aware there is probably nothing I could do to stop his fall - it's his rodeo. Unfortunately, that doesn't make it any easier to watch....

You know your right on this. To say his personality has really "flipped" is a gross misrepresentation of what has happened; saying that was just an easy way of explaining what's been going on. He seems a lot more willing to share his opinion on certain things like work sucking. I know - we ALL know - that work sucks (unless you have a job that really isn't a job) but hearing it all the time and in the manner I hear it in has really gotten old lately.

Well, as I alluded to above, he has somewhat hurt himself financially by shortening his availability out of anger. I can't say that decision is the result of his habit, bit it does make you think. Anyway, from what I heard he's been trying to get some of those days back now and management hasn't been very receptive of giving it back.

Anyway, you're right. The best thing I can do to help is to stay away and not encourage or reward him with my company; if anything is help snap him out of it it's when his losses start piling up. Additionally, I'm probably (probably, I mean definitely) letting this effect me too much as it.

As it stands though I must thank you for your reply; I know this is rather heavy topic for what is usually much more light-hearted place.